Not the kind of old where people start to suggest hand-rails in the shower, more like daggy mum-and-dad old.

While I've battled against grey hairs for years, and recently celebrated my 30^th birthday, I don't have children, haven't bought property and still have a penchant for unnatural hair colours.

Regardless, according to a Junkee article, "zoomers" - Generation Z - could peg me as a Millenial from a mile away.

And that's not cool anymore.

Skinny jeans, side parts, a Harry Potter obsession and using the laugh-crying emoji non-ironically are all dead giveaways. And also, apparently, all very, very lame.

Millenials love of wine, coffee and 90s nostalgia has also come under fire.

It's alarming to learn the most innoccuous parts of your life are suddenly fair game for ridicule.

I remember battling against the skinny jean trend when they first came in. I remember trading my baggy, trodden on, ripped hem jeans for my first pair of skinnies, and as a vertically challenged person I am never going back. No more for me the expense of having every pair of pants hemmed.

And the side part - saviour of those of us blessed with fiveheads. I tried a middle part this morning and could not get past the mental image of curtains parted on either side of an IMax movie screen.

The side fringe is kinder.

Bizarrely, as far as I can tell, the Zoomers are into the trends many Millenials remember with an awkward cringe from our own teen years. Flared or baggy pants, crop-tops, butterfly clips and bum bags have made a comeback.

I'll back the love of a good butterfly clip, or the return of shell jewellery. If the tightlined-eye look comes back, however - take it from someone who's been there. It won't look as good in hindsight as you think it does now.

I wonder, is this how my mum felt when I laughed at her early 90s perm and boyleg swimmer bottoms?

Because, shockingly, it hurts. And like mum, I am completely blind as to how these styles "look bad".

In an attempt to reassure myself, I shared the article with my Millenial peers. On facebook. Where old people live, apparently (TikTok is where the Zoomers live).

Concerningly, I got some feedback that sounded eerily similar to my parents' pitiful attempts to defend themselves from my teenage mockery.

"Wait til they have to move out and get jobs," rated highly. Sheesh.

I apologise, dear Zoomers, for those comments. But please, could you save your trendy teen judgements for your parents? They, at least, should expect it.

I'll be drinking my coffee (or wine) in the corner.