I've told you to stop, but you will never hear my voice because you insist on being the loudest, most obnoxious person at the dinner table.
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Political parties of all persuasions, I'm sick to death of your non-stop jargon. LNP, ALP, Greens, United Australia Party, get off my stream, screen and phone line.
With the rise of social media and streaming services, you've found another wave to invade the airwaves with your endless diatribe.
Quite frankly, you lost me when you resorted to your childish antics - there's more mudslinging than the third afternoon at the main stage of a soggy Splendour in the Grass. At least that was fun.
In the lead-up to the election we journalists are inundated with press releases spruiking funding announcements or rehashing your best laid promises.
But, that's my job. It's to be expected. We're here to inform our audience of the policies that matter to your constituents.
However, when my housemates and I are loading up YouTube to select a song that matches the glowing orange sunrise on Friday morning, all we can hear is your barbs at the other team.
It is intrusive and we're over it. It's same basic model a rug store plugs on broadcast television.
SALE, SALE, WE'RE CLOSING DOWN AND EVERYTHING MUST GO. The voice in my head reaches 100 decibels as all I want to do is yell, yet I'll wake up the lovely couple next door who have seen it over and over and over again for the past few decades.
Here's a shiny bicycle - and now the other side wants to show you their copy.
And the phone surveys are numbing your constituents. I'd rather a scammer, because deep down I know they are pieces of you know what.
Phone surveys make the common person feel as if they can't trust you. You're driving people up the wall.
Do you think of the abuse your volunteers cop?
Your volunteers or staffers are people. People with a passion. Direct their passion in other ways. Get them out on the streets talking face-to-face to the voters. Get them gauging the next generation so you ensure that when someone votes for your party, you've got the best interests in mind for the future of this country.
The real story doesn't happen at desk with a phone hooked to your ear. We know and so should you.
