"What can I do for you," I asked

The tortoise said I have been attacked by a gang of snails.

The tortoise was upset.

"Calm down and just tell me what happened," I said.

The tortoise said I don't know what to say because it all happened so fast.

Talking about Tortoises and speed, Operation Tortoise is on this Easter.

Operation Tortoise is a statewide Traffic Enforcement operation being conducted from 00.01hrs ( 1 minute past midnight) today Thursday, April 18 to 23.59hrs (11:59 at night) on Monday, April 22nd of April (Easter Long Weekend).

The operation is focussed on reducing the long weekend road toll by paying attention to traffic offences with particular interest being placed on - excessive speed, alcohol/drug impaired driving, driver fatigue and the non wearing of occupant restraints, which in layman's terms is a seatbelt, baby seat or other restraint.

Shoalhaven Highway Patrol (HWP) will be complemented with a number of HWP officers from the metro area.

So, the message is - slow down, don't drink and drive, don't take drugs, buckle up and watch out for the gang of snails.

Please remember, if you are at the pub or local club this Easter and you have been asked to leave by staff or police, do not argue with them.

Smile politely and go home. You can always return the next day.

The alternative is going to strain your wallet to the tune of $550 minimum and depending on your actions you could receive a very long ban from the establishment.

Have a nice Easter and I hope everyone gets an Easter egg.

As always, in case of emergency, call (000)

Non Emergencies contact Police Link on 131 444 or your local Police

To provide anonymous information call crime stoppers on 1800 333 000

Don't forget. Cops are tops.