Get the best advice on how not to destroy a marriage before it has even begun

ONE TWO: If nerves tend to take over before you make a speech, DO NOT resort to alcohol to settle them.
ONE TWO: If nerves tend to take over before you make a speech, DO NOT resort to alcohol to settle them.

Your wedding day is supposed to be one of the most memorable days of your life, but for some unlucky couples the day they have spent many months and many thousands of dollars planning quickly turns into a horror story. 

Here are some cringe worthy anecdotes from South Coast Register readers who were happy to share some terrifying details about their own or someone else’s special day.

1. The groom’s mother reveals the moment she thought it was all over for the happy couple.

A person who wished to remain anonymous for fear of identifying the unfortunate couple, revealed a very awkward moment at a wedding she attended.

“A high profile NRL player's mother was making a speech at her sons wedding, when she started saying a few words about the bride... "I never thought we'd actually see you two get married," she said.

"After you slept with (insert married team mate's name here), I thought it was all over.” 

The mother was quickly shuffled out of the venue, while the bride sat in shock and guests struggled to pick their jaws up off the floor.

2. The drunk speech with far too much detail.

The same person had an unfortunate experience on her own special day.

“A note to all MCs. It is NOT a good idea to ask drunk guests to make impromptu speeches,” she said. 

“My MC selected our drunkest guests who then told the stories you would rather hide from your older family members.”

3. A member of the wedding party catches fire.

“I went to a wedding where fire was symbolically involved in the ceremony,” another reader said.

“Things took an unexpected turn when the groomsman’s dreadlocks went up in a small flame.

“No-one was harmed in the making of the ceremony and the happy couple went on to enjoy a lovely wedding.”

4. Jackie. Her name is Jackie.

Shelley Walker revealed it’s not always a guest who gets it wrong.

“I went to a wedding where the whole service the celebrant called the bride Deborah.......her name was Jackie,” she said.

“Pretty sure the celebrant had imbibed a few "cordials" at the previous ceremony. Very unhappy bride and groom.” 

Advice from an offender

Graham French has been on both sides of the fence as both a witness to disastrous wedding speeches and as an offender.

“You should never ever consume alcohol before you make a speech,” he said. 

“That’s why I made such a dick of myself, with inappropriate jokes at the brides (my daughters) expense.

“Some of the guest with a sense of humour thought it was very funny, the guests with no sense of humour refused to laugh.”

Mr French’s advice was simple.

“Give your speech then go and have a drink, because if you don’t it can get ugly,” he said.

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