The 22-year-old Nowra woman suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) 

The serious mental disorder affects sufferers thoughts, emotions and behaviours.

It’s the most common personality disorder in Australia, affecting about 300,000 people.

For Cara, the disorder stems from the horrific sexual abuse she suffered as a child. 

“It wasn’t just the one person, there was a few and it didn’t happen just once, it happened again and again and again,” she said. 

“I was only about 10-years-old when it started.”

Cara has never been able to go into detail about the abuse with anyone. Until recently no one knew.

After years suffering alone she has finally shared her experience with her family.

“It was very confronting at the time but after that I felt relieved. I’ve kept it in for so many years.”

“My mum and dad had no idea. They were shocked but they handled it really well.”

Bullying at school also contributed to Cara’s pain and at age 10 she began self-harming. 

Scratches and bruises were passed off to her concerned parents as ‘clumsiness’ or received during a fall. 

During both the abuse and self-harm, Cara said her mind ‘dissociates’ with the experience.

She has no recollection of the damage she has done to herself but her scars are quick to remind her. 

Cara continued self-harming into adulthood and it was during a hospital visit in 2014 that she was finally diagnosed with BPD.

“It took a long time to get diagnosed. Doctors thought I just had depression and wasn’t coping,” she said. 

“I’d never heard of BPD before but as soon as a psychologist in hospital started explaining it, it all made so much sense. 

“It was almost a relief.”

Cara takes a heavy, daily dose of medication and sees local psychologists, psychiatrists and doctors.  

She has spent time in the acute ward at Shoalhaven Hospital and is in the process of seeing a counsellor. 

Yet, even with the many steps she’s taken in the hopes of recovery, on January 8 her family almost lost her. 

Cara’s sister Laura, 24, found her just in time. 

“The paramedic said it was almost too late,” Laura said. 

“Every time I close my eyes I relive what I saw.” 

That night has prompted Cara to seek more urgent help. 

She’s hoping to undergo treatment at a specialist rehabilitation facility in Sydney. The facility comes at a cost though and at roughly $15,000, Cara doesn’t have the funds. 

She’s recently started a gofundme page in the hopes of raising money and sharing her story to help other sufferers. 

“I just want mental illness to be recognised. I want people to understand that it's not something little and a lot of people suffer from mental illnesses,” she said. 

“I want people to know that they’re not alone and to seek help if they can.”

Cara has big plans for her life.

She’s already a qualified childcare worker but hopes one day she’ll be able to help others in a similar situation to herself. 

“When I get the help I need I would like to go back to TAFE and get back into study and become a social worker,” she said. 

“I want to specialise in mental illness and be able to help people like me.”

After her career goals, Cara has a checklist that reads like many 22-year-olds. She wants to find a partner and one day have children. 

She said her dreams rest on her being able to get help. 

“I want all this but I’m just afraid my mind won’t let me and one day I’ll be gone,” she said. 

To donate head to https://www.gofundme.com/bpd-is-just-a-piece-of-me

Find more information about BPD at https://www.sane.org/mental-health-and-illness/facts-and-guides/borderline-personality-disorder

Lifeline 13 11 14

beyondblue 1300 224 636

Kids Helpline 1800 551 800

MensLine Australia 1300 789 978