It’s almost half a century since Illawarra businesswoman Wendy Gee left her first husband, yet she still bears the physical – and emotional – scars from the ill-fated union.
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Just three weeks after she was married at the tender age of 16, her new husband turned on her - throwing punches and kicking her as she lay cowering on the ground.
The violent behaviour was to become a pattern; occurring at least weekly until she found the courage – and support – to leave him three years later.
On White Ribbon Day she wants to send a strong message to others that ‘’life doesn’t have to be like that’’.
Mrs Gee is living proof. She gained an education, brought up her son and remarried in her late 30s. She moved from the UK to Australia with her husband Doug 25 years ago, and has enjoyed a successful career at Wave FM, progressing to Grant Broadcasting’s NSW regional general manager.
‘’Fifty years on, I can’t believe that happened to me – that I was that little girl,’’ Mrs Gee said. ‘’I was very young when I first married – just about to turn 17 – and he was 21. We’d been together for two years and he’d never shown any signs of violence.
‘’One day I was ironing his shirt and he didn’t like the way I was doing it; he threw the iron and started laying into me, hitting me around the head and body.’’
She spent the next three years on tenterhooks. She hid the bruises and cuts, made excuses for the broken bones. She wanted to believe her husband when he said he was sorry, that he would not strike again.
‘’The physical part was bad because it hurt, but the mental part was worse because you never knew when it was coming or why,’’ she said.
‘’It was over the most trivial of things – you might have placed the knife and fork the wrong way, or put too many peas on the plate or put the wrong colour soap out.’’
When she fell pregnant with their son 18 months into the marriage, the beatings intensified. ‘’It was as if he knew I was more vulnerable.’’
He never hurt their boy, but after hospitalisation for a 20cm gash to the back of her head she finally made the decision to leave.
‘’I didn’t stay because I loved him – I hated him,’’ she said. ‘’I stayed because for a long time I couldn’t see any way out. Then after that final attack I found the support I needed to move on.’’
While the large scar remains beneath her mane of blonde hair, she doesn’t dwell on the past but hopes her story will help others.
‘’I know it’s hard to leave – but it’s even harder to stay,’’ she said. ‘’I just want to let others know that you can get out, there is help out there.’’
For help phone 1800 RESPECT on 1800 737 732.