The pleasures and sorrows of a three-child family

More than eight out of 10 Australian parents admit to giving their children financial help to secure home loans and pay bills, according to a new survey by comparison website Finder.

But only 40 per cent of adult children, aged 18 and over, admitted to receiving the assistance

Apart from no-catches cash, adult children said the most common types of financial help were for big-ticket items such as cars and white goods, for free or low-rent accommodation, and for paying bills.

And financial experts are warning that such loans are to the families' detriment.

"It's expensive to live in Australia, especially in capital cities and close to CBDs, which is where most people work. We found one in six get financial help from their parents because they are saving for a home loan deposit," Michelle Hutchison, Finder's money expert, said.

Among the grown-up children, 53 per cent said they received help because their parents offered, 17 per cent because they did not have a job, and 17 per cent because they were planning to buy a house.

Among the parents, 34 per cent said it was because they simply offered, 30 per cent, because their children struggled to manage their money, 20 per cent said they received help themselves when they were young, and 18 per cent because their children did not have a job.

"Because they have always been provided for, some children struggle to learn ways to manage their money and become too dependent on that help. It's not financially healthy to give adult kids everything they ask for," Ms Hutchison said.

Lisel O'Dwyer, a social scientist at Flinders University, said her research showed Australians handed out $22 billion to adult children each year.

In the past 10 years there was a move away from helping with buying large items, and towards everyday needs on a more frequent basis, she said.

"There will be a point at which the role of family versus the state must be rebalanced. We need to rethink who has the responsibility of helping out adult children when they need it," she said,

"And there are also ethical implications surrounding whether support is needed, expected or demanded. Like inheritance, the transfer of money to some but not others is at odds with a meritocratic society."

Financial expert Nicole Pedersen-McKinnon, founder of the The Money Mentor Way, urged parents to do their best in teaching their children money management skills. If adult children live at home, they should pay rent, even if it is saved for them later.

Nearly 30 per cent of Australians in their 20s and 30s live at home, up from 21 per cent in 1976, according to the 2011 census.

"Modelling good money behaviour yourself, and thoroughly explaining it, is one of the best ways to instil smart money habits in your children," she said.

"The ability to delay gratification is key to a secure financial future, along with an understanding that the earlier you start saving, the easier it is."

Dale and Noelene Blair's son, Joe, 20, works as a casual barman and photographer in Melbourne.

When his phone bill blows out, mum and dad, who live in Emerald in the Dandenongs, chip in. Likewise, when the work goes slow and rent is due, `"we'll help out", says Dale. "Bills are constant, whether he's getting work or not."

Recently, Joe committed to an overseas trip with mates – and then found himself short of money. "He'd been doing all right for a while and things had gone quiet as far as us having to help out ... but things changed and when he said he was pulling out of the trip because of money,  we decided to bankroll it."

The point Dale Blair wants to make is that there is more opportunity for Joe to find work in the city than in the Dandenongs. And, he said, Joe works hard, long hours "but sometimes it's not enough".

Janna Simone, 24, and her son, Jordan, 4, live with her parents in their Sylvania home in Sydney.

She does not pay rent or help with the bills, but the make-up artist in training covers all other personal expenses, including childcare, mobile phone, and clothing costs.

Her plan is to nab a full-time job and move out with her partner within two years, paying back her parents and becoming fully financially independent.

"My dad's a small business owner, and he's got great work ethic and very good with money. He's always teaching me to be smarter with my money, instilling those skills in me," she said.

The survey also found 26 per cent of Generation Y, those aged 18 to 34, obtained their parents' financial help because they were saving for a home loan deposit, compared to 12 per cent of Generation X, aged 35 to 54.

One in 10 Baby Boomers, those aged 55 to 74, still receive financial support from a parent due to saving for a home loan deposit.